Siesta Vlacation Guide

Find out about all the best vlacation spots for the siesta from Seattle Garages intern Toast Guerta!

Follow Toast Guerta on Twitter @GuertaToast

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Music credits:

Welcome to the Show by Kevin MacLeod



Breakdown by Kevin MacLeod



Come Play with Me by Kevin MacLeod



Organic Grunge by Kevin MacLeod



Kimberly: Hey there blaseball fans, you are listening to take me out to the blallgame the world's most migratory blaseball podcast. I'm your host Kimberly Dauber and I use She/her pronouns. Blaseball may be on siesta but we are not. there are many things to do in blaseball over the siesta and today we're going to talk to ToastGuerta about where to go on vacation over your own siesta. but first a word from our splonsors.

Kimberly (Splonsorship Segment): today's episode of take me out to the blallgame was sponsored by the Miami Dale. nothing to do on Halloween? wrong! you the one listening to this ad right now, you have been personally invited to the most exclusive party on South Beach. Daleween. What's Daleween? Daleween is a dance party fan work jam and fundraiser all in one. stop by the Dale channels on the blaseball discord and submit your fan art to the costume contest. listen to character curated playlists and party with all your blaseball pals. plus we'll be raising money for a great cause. music starts at four PM Miami time eastern daylight time on October thirty first be there and be Dale!

Kimberly: hello listeners welcome back to take me out to the blall game. I am your host Kimberly Dauber and we're here to talk about what to do on your blaseball siesta vlacation. we're here talking to a very special guest ToastGuerta. Toast what should we call you what are your pronouns and is The Commissioner Doing A Great Job?

ToastGuerta: Heya Kim, I am ToastGuerta. I have He/him pronouns and as always The Commissioner Is Doing A Great Job.

Kimberly: thanks so much Toast welcome to the show. can you tell us who you are?

ToastGuerta: I am the intern for the Seattle Garages. I have been their intern for... this will most likely be coming on the third year now? I've been with them since I think season ten?

Kimberly: Wow.

ToastGuerta: it's been a fun time. I've gotten to meet a lot of people in the league and it's been very fun.

Kimberly: fantastic and what got you interested in researching blaseball siesta vlacation spots?

ToastGuerta: so as you know the Garages are a touring band. so when they're not playing shows and we're just kind of in between towns and all that it's nice to kind of look and see where there are places to go. like with the team or if I even just want to go off and explore any towns by myself I can do that. and I have been able to have that experience being able to go touring with them.

Kimberly: Awesome! that's so fantastic yeah, yeah. I saw the Garages got their first live gig recently and that was super exciting.

ToastGuerta: yes I am very, very excited to watch that.

Kimberly: yeah, yeah all right so listeners today we're going to talk about where to go on vlacation for blaseball fans. now we're not gonna be able to get to all of the teams or all of the places where teams are from but remember... if you do want to visit a particular team you can hop over to their discord channel and say hi. see what's up. just make sure that you check out their visitor status first because sometimes teams like to close themselves off and have a private bonding time. but that visitor status is linked in the show notes so just check that out and then go hop over and say hi to a team that you're curious about. also one more reminder before we get into it the many worlds theory of blaseball means that all versions of the baseball world exist somewhere in the multiverse. so if we say something here that doesn't sound like it exists in your version of the multiverse you can always just grab a dimensional hopper and take a slightly longer journey for your vlacation. but all of these versions of vlacation spots totally exist in the multiverse of blaseball.

okay so Toast let's go about this maybe by geography: the United Stlates is the location where a lot of blaseball fans are located in, a lot of us are on the east coast. I myself tend to hover around the Boston area so if I want to stay maybe on the eastern seaboard what are some vlacation spots so I can go check out?

ToastGuerta: of course so if you're looking for a great place to go first off on the east coast you can always go to New York, home of the New York Millennials. there are a couple of spots that I could recommend personally. the Endless Bodega is always really fun. you can pet any of the bodega cats you want get as many snacks as you want.

Kimberly: (gasp of cuteness)

ToastGuerta: so I mean there is a... I always forget the name of the... they they have a specific bodega cat. it's an infinite cat.

Kimberly: whoa... oh my gosh.

ToastGuerta: it's it's it's... it is very nice to pet as you are walking through the Endless Bodega. it's also hard to get out of, but...

Kimberly: in what ways is it infinite?

ToastGuerta: the cat? I haven't seen the end of the cat.

Kimberly: (gasp) That's so much petting.

ToastGuerta: I know.

Kimberly: (astounded)

ToastGuerta: it's always fun to go to New York for that.

Kimberly: that's awesome, that's awesome where else can I go on the eastern seaboard?

ToastGuerta: sure also in New York you can go to the Batting [sic] Island which is where the New York Millennials play. After you go see a game for the Millennials you can go to their parking lot and go hang out with the living ghost of Tony Hawk.

Kimberly: Nice. Oh, i've always wanted to meet the living ghost of Tony Hawk.

ToastGuerta: Yeah, Tony Hawk seems pretty nice. I got him to do a couple tricks for me.

Kimberly: I'm sure he's pretty chill. all right so that's where I can go in New York City home of the Millennials. So what else we got out here on the east?

ToastGuerta: so it wouldn't be a stop or proper party for a vacation if you didn't stop in Miami home of the Miami Dale.

Kimberly: Yessss... what can you go do there, yeah?

ToastGuerta: Yeah, so there are about three... couple things you can do in Miami. first you can go out to Biscayne Bay: go swim in the giant bay there's always tons of parties out there it being Miami especially. and soon I believe they are having a Halloween event.

Kimberly: Oooo, that's exciting!

ToastGuerta: yeah I think I'm definitely gonna show for that. I'm gonna wear my nicest cowboy costume as I think that was my decision as of a couple days ago. and there are... there is the Party Rock not to be confused with a certain music group's song party rock anthem.

Kimberly: okay.

ToastGuerta: it's sort of the oldest I guess cave system in Miami?

Kimberly: Really?

ToastGuerta: it seems to exude some sort of party energy which I guess is transcendently tied to the Dale? which is how they're able to I think just party so hard.

Kimberly: Ooh, that would make sense. yeah, yeah.

ToastGuerta: and then finally there is the South Beach Highrise which is where most of Miami lives. you can see all sorts of sights. I mean obviously it's gonna be an endless party if everybody in Miami lives there and then there are a flock of flamingos that have made their residence there it seems too as well so you can go feed flamingos if you would like. I believe they very much like it if you feed them or else they will keep bothering you.

Kimberly: Ah yes, yes that would make sense. Oh, flamingos. okay so that's where I can go on the east coast what if... there's also loads of blaseball fans out in the west. so what can people in like the California unlimited multiverse, Los Angeles area, or Washington state area go check out?

ToastGuerta: well I am glad that you mentioned Washington state since me being obviously technically an employee of the Seattle Garages I feel like that's my expertise since I live here. there is obviously Plikes Place Market which has a multitude of shops, a fish market where the employees there will throw fish at you and you have to hopefully catch.

Kimberly: nice.

ToastGuerta: So there is also the first Starblucks which I don't have to be the person to tell you that's what Starblucks is. it is a very big cloffee chain and it's, it's the home of the first one. it's actually very nice I've been there before.

Kimberly: okay well that's very cool.

ToastGuerta: It being Seattle you know home of Nirvlana there is an amazing music scene. if there is a venue I would have to recommend I would say the Nirvlana Memorial Hall. that is a very good concert hall to see any sort of like DIY punk or any literally any genre music for there.

Kimberly: nice, nice do the garages perform there ever?

ToastGuerta: yes we have performed there many times and that's mostly where we do like home shi... those type of shows. sometimes we do find a abandoned house and we will do a house show in there. yeah those are always really fun, I always like the house shows that they do.

Kimberly: awesome, awesome. Well yeah if I ever end up on the west coast I'm gonna have to go check out Seattle and all of those cool places.

ToastGuerta: Of course.

Kimberly: you got time for one more vlacation destination out in the west?

ToastGuerta: Yes.

Kimberly: I mean what else, you got one more?

ToastGuerta: of course so since I have joined sort of the league working as an employee I have been able to go to the Yellowstone Magic's Yellowstone National Park. that is one of the most breathtaking places I think in the United Stlates. and I mean there's nature everywhere like I love... on like my off weekends I sometimes I'll go out there and camp that's always really fun. they always have you know one of the United Stlates oldest monuments Old Playful. sometimes you can see wizards trying to get in there. it's... works? it works I think?

Kimberly: (laughter) just like swim in Old Faithful?

ToastGuerta: yeah.

Kimberly: or just dive into it... what?

ToastGuerta: I was too scared to go ask.

Kimberly: that's fair. that's entirely fair.

ToastGuerta: but also if you can muster up the brightness you can try your hand at magic. I feel I believe Yellowstone is a very good conduit for magicians in practice. so I definitely think if you want to see if you're magically inclined go ahead and give it a shot out there!

Kimberly: I'm gonna have to try that. I messed around with some summoning circles and such and our shields can always use a bit of an upgrade. got some techno magical shields to protect us from dimensional drift and various dimensional waves. stuff that we run into when we hop over barriers between dimensions and multiverses up here. but I couldn't... they could always use an upgrade.

ToastGuerta: yeah.

Kimberly: they're not exactly the high end versions but... Hey I might have to go check out Yellowstone see if we can get an upgrade for those.

ToastGuerta: yeah it's incredible I definitely recommend it.

Kimberly: all right well thank you so much Toast. listeners we'll be right back after this short break with more blaseball vlacation destinations for you during the siesta. thank you so much for tuning in don't go away!

Kimberly (Intermission): today's episode of take me out to the blallgame was splonsored by the Hellmouth Anti-Tourism Board.

(ominous music begins to play)

Kimberly (Intermission): hello listeners have you thought about taking a vacation driving through the vast spaces of North America and seeing what there is to see? was the Hellmouth, Utah on your route? did you want to see the Hellmouth? Breathe its humid air and see its eyes that gaze up at the celestial bodies that lord over us? did you want to try your luck plumbing its depths for its secrets? did you want a shirt that says "I survived the Hellmouth and all I got was this shirt."? is the Hellmouth on your route? is the Hellmouth on your route? is the Hellmouth?

(ominous music stops suddenly)

Kimberly (Intermission): well take it off go somewhere else, don't come to the Hellmouth. this is not a tourist destination and it does not want you here. go to Miami and remember we're so glad you aren't here. this message approved by the Hellmouth Anti-Tourism Board.

Kimberly: hello listeners welcome back you're listening to take me out to the blallgame. I'm your host Kimberly Dauber and I am here with ToastGuerta a wonderful intern for the Seattle Garages who is telling us all about where to go on your blaseball siesta vlacation. so last half of the episode we talked about various places to go on the east and west coasts of the United Stlates but I have one more important category of people who need to be able to go on vacation. and that is people who really like fire. Toast if I want to go on vacation and I just really like fire an awful lot where should I go?

ToastGuerta: so I actually prepared for this. I have two locations that are perfect for people who would love to see fire and potentially large holes, mouths in the ground. so first up I would like to mention the Hades Tigers home turf Tartarus. deep within the underworld literally the lowest point you could ever get in the underworld there is Tartarus where the Hades Tigers play. so there's a good couple things you can do while you're there. you can obviously go swim in the River Styx. you can live out your best like Achilles fantasy if you want.

Kimberly: Nice, nice.

ToastGuerta: you can go to the Gardens of Sisyphus which is actually fun fact the only place that flowers can grow in the underworld. so naturally they have made some beautiful gardens that have been there.

Kimberly: wow that's wonderful yeah. any Flowers fans if you find yourself in Hades go head on over there you'll feel right at home I would expect.

ToastGuerta: And the best thing about Hades, which is the one thing I have always wanted to do but I have never been able to physically get to do it you can pet Cerberus.

Kimberly: I wanna pet Cerberus...

ToastGuerta: I want to pet Cerberus so bad but I've never been able to get to them.

Kimberly: oh man well good luck on that quest. so that's one place I can go if I just think fire is awesome and what I want to see on my vlacation. is there any place else that I can go for all fire lovers out there?

ToastGuerta: yes so if you love... maybe not physical fire but the feeling of fire? Go to the Hellmouth. they got two suns now.

Kimberly: two suns.

ToastGuerta: Two suns!

Kimberly: that's many. that's more than I am used.

ToastGuerta: Then you can go to the Hellmouth. you can for example like you said if you love fire stare at the suns.

Kimberly: Oooh yeah, yeah, yeah.

ToastGuerta: or don't. or do. really it's your choice. there's also the Infinite Mill Creek which is an endless hiking trail. so sort of like calling back to the Endless Bodega you can just go on an endless hike if you don't want your vacation to end. but I mean I've done it once? I came back.

Kimberly: how long did it take?

ToastGuerta: I'm... so it was in my senior year of high school. I did it as kind of like a graduation gift to myself? I was gone for maybe three months...

Kimberly: that's a while.

ToastGuerta: you know that might have something to do with my final thing for the Hellmouth. this may just be a me thing you may not want to do this I understand it's not for everyone. I love, personally this is a fan favorite... this is my favorite thing to do out of any of these things. I love tossing the alcohol Malört into the Hellmouth. just chucking bottle upon bottle upon bottle into the Hellmouth.

Kimberly: really. what do you love about it?

ToastGuerta: it is... I don't know why it's just very cathartic. and I don't know if it was because I was lost for three weeks or if it's... I mean it is legal like there's no law against it in the Sunbeam Court yet...

Kimberly: Yet.

ToastGuerta: But until they take me to court for it, I think I'll be okay.

Kimberly: all right well thank you so much Toast for giving us this fantastic guide to all of blaseball's vlacation destinations. listeners we are about out of time but before we go I've got one more question for you Toast. that's as you know we are all love blaseball so could you tell me what are you love about blaseball?

ToastGuerta: so I mean working with the Garages for the last three years has been incredible. the people I have met are quite honestly the very most nicest people anyone could ever meet and even work for obviously. so there are a couple people I would like to thank specifically just for making my time with this league and just the entire world of blaseball just make it really nice. I would like to think specifically Arturo Huerta, Theodore Duende, Sparks Beans, Gallup Cruller, Sam Scandal, Eizabeth Elliot, and finally my favorite player in all of blaseball: Jaylen Hotdogfingers.

Kimberly: well thank you so much for coming on the show Toast. I love talking to... I am love talking to the players as well they're wonderful. listeners that's all we've got time for, for today. So Toast where can our listeners find you?

ToastGuerta: yes if you would like to see me tweeting with completely reckless abandon please feel free to follow me on Twitter at @GuertaToast. that is @GuertaToast.

Kimberly: all right thank you so much Toast. listeners don't forget to subscribe to this show take me out to the blallgame wherever podcasts are found. follow us on Twitter at @blaseball_pod. check out our website at and email us at you can send in a question, dedicate a soulscream, or suggest something that we should interview you about. That's what you did, Toast?

ToastGuerta: yes and it turned out very good. I'm glad I was able to impart my knowledge on vacation spots.

Kimberly: it turned out great because we're all here having a great time!

ToastGuerta: and that's what blaseball's all about.

Kimberly: and that's what blaseball's all about. one final item listeners: if you know someone else who would enjoy this podcast do them a favor and tell them about it. because that is one of the best ways for people to find out about podcasts and they will be very glad that it is part of their life. I'm Kimberly Dauber this has been take me out to the blallgame. And thank you for participating in the cultural event of blaseball.

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Transcribed by Jossar.

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