Blaseball Law 101

Join me in the equivalent of blaseball law school to prepare for the upcoming siesta trial! Brief Games of the Wild Wings Legal Team and Matthew, aka Blase Attorney, of the Chicago Firefighters tell us all about the fascinating legal details of the New York Millennials v. the CEO Commissioner and the Boss.

Read more about Millennials v. Commissioner and the Boss at parkerclassaction.com

Follow the Mills’ ad creator on Twitter @felixgarbage (and @illfocusedgamer)

Follow Brief Games and the Wild Wings Legal Team on Twitter @CDMXWWLegal

Follow Matthew on Twitter @mpark6288

Check out Matthew’s other podcast, Ad Hoc Podcast

Follow Fitzgerald Blackburn on Twitter @fitzblackburn

Check out Fitz’s other podcast, Blase Closed

Check out our website: blaseballpodcast.com

Follow us on Twitter: @blaseball_pod

Email us: blaseballpodcast@gmail.com

Drop us a tip on Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/blaseballpodcast

————————————————————————–

Music credits:

Welcome to the Show by Kevin MacLeod

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4614-welcome-to-the-show

License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Breakdown by Kevin MacLeod

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3456-breakdown

License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Deadly Roulette by Kevin MacLeod

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3625-deadly-roulette

License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Faster Does It by Kevin MacLeod

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3741-faster-does-it

License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Organic Grunge by Kevin MacLeod

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4176-organic-grunge

License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Kimberly: What is up, blaseball fans? You are listening to Take Me Out To The Blall Game, the world's most legal blaseball podcast. I'm your host, Kimberly Dauber, and I use she/her pronouns. The blaseball world is currently buzzing with anticipation for the upcoming court case of the New York Millennials v. Parker MacMillan III, the CEO Commissioner Prime Minister of Internet League Blaseball, and That Coin, Probably, also known as the Boss. To help you prepare for it, listener, I have been attending the equivalent of blaseball law school to get caught up on the history of blaseball legal actions. I've also brought in a couple of experts, one being Brief Games, paralegal for Case Sports of the Wild Wings Legal Team, and Blase Attorney, of the Chicago Firefighters.

But first, a word from our splonsors. Today's episode of Take Me Out To The Blall Game was splonsored by the New York Millennials.

[Dramatic music begins.]

Announcer: So the people have spoken, so it shall continue. We voted. We made our voices heard. And Parker MacMillan III and his Boss of equity have taken that voice from us. The Coin came in and promised an age of Fair Play, but one of their first actions was to take away the great equalizer we had, with no notice, no voting, like we have done everything else in this splort. We were assured that we could vote on and help define the future of our beloved blaseball, and now the decree we rightfully chose is gone. How is this considered fair?

The New York Millennials have decided that they will not stand for this, and they are asking for you to lend your voices to theirs. Together, we can show the 1% that they cannot ignore the rules. They cannot disregard the book when so much of our past and the makings of our future sit within its pages. Time and time again, we have risen up against those who seek to push us down. We have defeated the Shelled One. We have watched as beloved colleagues fall into the horrors of capitalism. We cannot allow Parker MacMillan III to expose us to one more risk. Come to the Hellmouth, make your voices heard once more, and help us remind those who seek to control and manipulate us that we will not back down from our rights. [Buzzing bleep] capitalism. Eat the rich. We are the New York Millennials, and we approve this message.

[Dramatic music fades out.]

K: For more information on the Eat the Rich class action lawsuit, visit parkerclassaction.com.

Hello, listeners! Welcome back. You're listening to Take Me Out To The Blall Game, I'm your host, Kimberly Dauber, and today we are doing Blaseball Law 101. I am here with two legally expert guests involved in the upcoming case of Millennials v. the Commissioner and the Boss. Guests, what should we call you, what are your pronouns, and is the Commissioner doing a great job? Let's start with Brief Games.

Brief: Yes, my name is Brief Games, I'm a paralegal for the Mexico City Wild Wings, and you can call me Brief. I use he/him pronouns, and my assessment of the Commissioner's performance, much like Eat the Rich, has been suspended due to pending litigation.

K: Thank you, Brief. We've also got Blase Attorney.

Matthew: Hi! My name is Matthew, or mpark6288 on both the blaseball Discords and Twitter, and I am the Blase Attorney for the Chicago Firefighters, and I use he/him pronouns. And I think the Commissioner is doing a great job, pending the outcome of future litigation, which is such a good lawyer answer I had to steal it. [Kimberly laughs.]

K: Hey, listeners. This is Kimberly. I'm cutting in to give you a brief history of legal actions that have taken place in blaseball before we get into the rest of the interview. As far as I can tell, there have been five cases as of Season 11.

The first case was the Mexico City Wild Wings v. the Blaseball Gods. In this lawsuit, the Mexico City Wild Wings sued the blaseball gods for placing them in the Mild League in spite of them being the Wild Wings. As a result, the team was renamed from the Wild Wings to the Mild Wings until they became Mild League champions in Season 7 and the gods restored the name Wild Wings. This was the Wild Wings Legal Team’s first case.

The second case was Turnabout Morgan, and it was a murder trial. It's kind of hard to summarize, and Brief does a great job later in the episode, so I'm just gonna leave this one for now. The important thing to remember about Turnabout Morgan is that it was the first trial held in Sunbeams court, which is where the current trial is being held.

The third case was Schazer v. Sera. This one was held in the Tigers’ court, and it will also be summarized later in the episode. For now, suffice to say that it involved a tiger pit, which you can still check out in the Discord if you team-hop over to the Tigers.

The fourth case is the current one: the New York Millennials v. Parker and the Boss. That is the case this episode is about.

And then the fifth and final case is currently ongoing. It is the Chicago Firefighters v. Umpire Pope Sunman. The Firefighters are suing Sunman because Sunman incinerated most of Chicago for repeatedly referring to him as “Poop Sunman.” Just ask a Firefighters fan for more info about that one. They will be happy to talk about it.

Okay, now you are all caught up on the history of blaseball legal cases. Let's get back to the interview.

Thank you both so much for being here. Before we get into the lawsuit itself, can you just tell us what each of your roles is in this upcoming case. Let's start with Brief.

B: Yeah, so I've been a paralegal with the Wild Wings Legal Team for our star attorney, Case Sports, since about Season 6. I was brought on to help with the defamation case, and currently I am sorting through the pile of evidence that we have received on on our website parkerclassaction.com. I'm sorting through that evidence and publishing it on our Twitter account, so kind of just helping Case get everything together so that they'll be well prepared for the lawsuit.

K: All right, thank you, thank you, and then Matthew.

M: So I am what’s called in the courts an amicus curiae in the Mills lawsuit, which means friend of the court. I am representing uninvolved third parties who thought that there were important legal questions for the court to consider and filed a brief in order to make sure that the court had that information before them.

K: Ah, okay, so you're not directly suing or being sued, but you're deeply interested in what's going on.

M: In the Millennials lawsuit I am not representing a party that's being sued or suing. We are just fans of blaseball that felt there were important legal questions, other Firefighters-related litigation notwithstanding.

K: Okay, okay. All right, well, thank you both so much for coming on the show today. Let's start off by explaining this current court case of—in case anyone hasn't heard about it yet—the New York Millennials v. the Commissioner and potentially the Boss. Brief, since you're on the Wild Wings Legal Team, could you explain to us what's going on here?

B: Yeah, the current lawsuit is a simple demand, really, that the Forbidden Book, rule 6, section h, be followed as written. And I'll read it so that everyone's familiar with it. The Book says, “Every season, immediately before the Election, the Wealthiest 1% of Fans will have their Coins removed and distributed evenly to the other 99% of Fans.” All we're asking on, uh— the Millennials are bringing the suit on behalf of the 99%— um, that there's a restitution for damages caused by two seasons now of Eat the Rich going uncollected.

K: Okay, so we were supposed to get some coins, and we didn’t.

B: We were supposed to get some coins. We did not get any coins.

K: And we think that suing the Commissioner and the Boss will get us coins, or something.

B: Or something. People are counting on this money, and they haven't gotten it now for two seasons in a row, which is even worse than when we started the lawsuit, so we’re just looking to be made whole.

K: Okay, okay, so I was looking through this lawsuit, and I saw a couple of things going on it that were kind of legal jargon-y that I I didn't quite understand, so I'd like to get some legal background for our listeners. So, one thing that I noticed it in this lawsuit, which by the way you can find on parkerclassaction.com, it has the following sentence: it says, “The Decree and the Book constitute a written promise that meets the requirements for the doctrine of promissory estoppel.” I don't know if I'm saying that right.

B: You nailed it.

K: It says, “Plaintiff’s Counsel aren't entirely sure what this means, but it sounds legit, and it prevents Defendants from immediately dismissing our case, Parker.” So what does this mean? [Laughs.] Maybe Matthew, since you’re an attorney, can you tell us: what is promissory estoppel?

M: Absolutely. Promissory estoppel is kind of a foundational part of contract law. It fundamentally says that, if Party A makes a promise to Party B and Party B relies on that promise to their detriment, then they can enforce that promise from Party A. And the classic law school example of this is a case called Hamer v. Sidway, which was from New York in the 1890s, and a young man was promised $5,000 by his uncle if he abstained from drinking, smoking, or playing cards until he was 21. When he did so, his uncle tried to claim that it wasn't enforceable, but the young man showed that, because he had not done those things—he hadn't engaged in social activities with his friends that were common in the 1890s and still common today—he had detrimentally relied on it and, therefore, his uncle was estopped from saying that it wasn't enforceable. So promissory estoppel is simply the process by which you show that a promise was relied on detrimentally and therefore should be enforced by the court.

K: Okay, so in our case, since we the 99%—I’m in the 99%, I’m not good at getting coins—since we the 99% of blaseball fans rely on Eat the Rich happening, and we were promised that it would happen, there is now some detriment to us because we can’t— there were a couple things we couldn't do it without Eat the Rich happening, this says that the courts can enforce that Eat the Rich must happen. Is that that how this applies here?

M: Pretty much, but it's even more broad than that because it's not just because the 99% need the coins, it's because all blaseball fans interacted with the sport—excuse me, splort, I don't know where that came from— with the splort through betting—

K: Weird word.

M: —they were relying on the promises of Eat the Rich, both the 99% and the 1% who made financial decisions based on that expectation. So, theoretically, every blaseball fan who betted during the affected seasons has a claim that they relied on that detrimentally, and it should be enforced.

K: Okay, okay. All right, so that's promissory estoppel, and that's how that applies here. There's a couple of other stuff going on. The whole website says that this is a class action lawsuit. Can one of you tell me what class action lawsuit is? What does that mean?

M: A class action lawsuit is kind of exactly what it says on the tin. It is an action— it is a lawsuit brought on behalf of a class of people: in this case, blaseball fans that suffered because of the lack of Eat the Rich enforcement. It relies on there being a certain discernible group of people who were affected and who are therefore entitled to damages, so, where normally this would be the Millennials suing on their own behalf, like the Wild Wings did during the defamation lawsuit, here they are suing on behalf of all blaseball fans who were affected by the lack of enforcement of Eat the Rich.

K: Okay, okay, so the class action bit really just refers to the fact that this is on behalf of all of us blaseball fans and not only the New York Millennials, even though the Millennials are the ones who are actually suing.

M: Exactly. They're the ones who brought the suit, and they're the ones who are dealing with the legal processes, but they are— if they win, the judgment will be on behalf of all members of the class.

K: I see, I see. Okay, so, speaking of making a judgment: this case is happening in Sunbeams court, I think? [Brief and Matthew chuckle.] Maybe somebody can tell us what's going on with that. Like, Sunbeams court is not in New York, nor is it on the Immaterial Plane, which is where I assume the Commissioner is. What is going on?

B: Yeah, I'll start here, and then we'll see where we end up.

K: Okay.

B: So, yeah, Matt did an excellent job of summarizing what the law here in the Material Plane is, and what we believe that a lot of this law still applies in the Immaterial Plane, but, as is evidenced by the only previous case in Sunbeams court, it could all not matter at all. We don't really have any idea what's going to happen because I think chaos would be, like, the only word to use to describe the first trial in Sunbeams court.

M: Absolutely.

B: I wasn't there when it happened, but I've read through a transcript—

K: Yeah.

B: —and watched some kind of animated version of it, where it's like they—a few times, and I don't know what's happening. [Laughter.] But can I do my best to try to say what happened?

K: Give it a shot, give it a shot.

B: Okay, so, the Sunbeams community were on trial for—and by “community” I mean the Discord users [laughter]—were on trial for murdering their team captain via bone course, and bone course is not a legal doctrine that I think many people are familiar with or, like, a word, but I believe that it means: it's just something that happens in Sunbeams discussions about the nature and classification of bones and other items and whether or not all items are bones.

K: Okay.

B: That is what I believe “bone course” to be.

M: Terrifying.

B: So, somehow—

K: Yeah.

B: —somehow bone course was responsible for the murder of a team captain. I believe they said, “If the bone course continues, I will die.” The bone course continued, and they died.

K: Ooh, that seems pretty open and shut.

B: Right. And so, the kind of confusing part is that the judge also thought it was pretty open and shut and admitted so before the case. The judge in this case is Keeper Sins. The judge in the case, appointed the jury in the case, took the stand in the case. And so none of this would be, I don't think, standard legal practice, to have the judge, jury, and witness all be the same person.

K: [Overlapping with Brief] Yeah, seems odd.

B: This was further complicated when Umpire Sunman came in—on accident: he was looking for traffic court [laughter]—and he was the one who made the decision that Keeper Sins was the judge and jury—

K: Oh!

B: —and that the dead captain, Morgan, was the executioner.

K: Ooh, twist.

B: Judge Sins also openly admitted in the trial to having been paid a bribe of nine hundred bones and noted multiple times that the defendant was guilty, and then, when it was all done, everyone involved was incinerated.

K: Cool!

B: Does that make sense? I don't understand what could be confusing about that.

K: I don't know if it makes sense, but I will say that that's blaseball, baby. [Laughter.]

M: It is definitely very blaseball.

B: [Overlapping] That’s blaseball, baby.

K: Can I actually get one clarification? What is a “keeper”? What does “Keeper Sins” mean?

B: Yeah, so, a keeper, from my understanding, is the people who are in charge of making sure our Discord that is the heart of the blaseball community remains operating and functional. I believe it's mostly—or maybe entirely—a volunteer group but a great group of individuals looking out for the best interests of blaseball across Discord.

K: Okay, okay, so we've got Keeper Sins, and it is going to be the judge for the upcoming trial as well.

B: And jury and witness.

K: Oh, again?

B: They’ve already submitted evidence.

K: Okay. All right.

B: So, we’ve got very much a similar thing happening here—

K: Okay.

B: —with Judge Sins—

K: So—

B: —Jury Sins, Witness Sins.

K: So why are the Millennials taking this to Sunbeams court? Was there a particular reason for this or just that there’s precedent? [Laughter.]

M: I think it's important to note that it was actually the Commissioner who unilaterally declared that it would be held in Sunbeams court.

K: Oh!

B: Correct. This may indicate my ignorance and that I'm only a paralegal here, but I was actually unaware that Sunbeams court existed until the Commissioner asked—or said, stated—that that's where the trial would be held. So, I didn't know it existed, and I've been getting up to speed like the rest of us as to what Sunbeams court is, and I'm astounded at every turn.

K: Okay, okay. Before we cut to a short break, Matthew, have you got any words about Sunbeams court?

M: When I was reviewing the Morgan case, what occurred to me was that Sunbeams court has the criminal procedure equivalent of Calvinball, where it seems like they just make up the rules as they go along, so I think what the Commissioner is hoping for is probably a more freewheeling court where they can exert a little bit of their personality, but they also risk establishing that court in the Hellmouth is the proper jurisdiction for all blaseball lawsuits going forward, and I wonder if they thought about that risk because, if it goes against them—as it might, given the judge has already registered evidence that says, “Pay me my money, Parker”—they risk going time and time again into a hostile court in this new era of litigation.

K: All right, all right, well, thank you both for being here. Listeners, when we come back, we're gonna talk a little more about what this case means for blaseball, but first, in order to give you another bit of an idea of what a blaseball court looks like, I contacted Fitzgerald Blackburn of the Houston Spies. Spies win [high-pitched beep]. Fitzgerald Blackburn is here with a report on the trial of Schazer v. Sera, which took place in the Hades Tigers court. Over to you, Fitz. Listeners, we’ll be right back.

Fitzgerald: [Digitally-altered voice] This is Fitzgerald Blackburn of the Houston Spies. Thank you so much, Kimberly, for having me on the show. I'm here to tell you everything you need to know about Schazer v. Serra, the Onceler trial. October 22nd, 2020: Sunbeams captain Schazer drops the following poll in the official blaseball Discord captains’ chat: “Is Tillman Henderson the Onceler of blaseball?” For those uninitiated, I’m sorry I have to tell you this, but the Onceler is the protagonist-villain of Dr. Seuss's classic The Lorax, most infamously known for having a wild fan base that has gone as far as to romance him with himself. After some shocked responses, Moist Talkers captain Pigeon responded by saying, quote:

Different Altered Voice: “We’re suing you next for Onceler discourse.”

F: The suit was quickly dropped by Pigeon out of fear that the Onceler may become canon within blaseball lore, but, after some dissent from the crowd, Sera, who was known for having personal experience with the Onceler herself, picked up the case.

The trial was set for the court of Hades, the conversation moved to Tigers chat, and statements were made. Enby was appointed as Schazer’s legal defense, with Pigeon supporting Sera's role of legal representative for the prosecution. In their first statements, Schazer claimed that they were simply warning the Discord of the dangers that may befall them if Tillman becomes the Onceler. Sera chimed in to say that the risk of Tillman becoming a Onceler naturally was negligible compared to the damage caused by Schazer’s posting of the poll. Sunbeams Discord user Garf, in an attempt to spare Schazer from an unfortunate fate, provided an inspired rendition of Antony's famous eulogy for Julius Caesar.

Different Altered Voice: O judgment! thou art fled to janis beasts,
And Beams have lost their reason. Bear with me:
My heart is on the stand there with Schazer,
And I must pause till it come back to me.

F: Shortly before the trial began, an artist by the name of Dee had posted a—well, simply mortifying rendition of Tillman Henderson wearing the Onceler’s iconic green suit. Dee is brought to the stand. Pigeon claims that the drawing came about one hour after Schazer’s warning, and that, as such, Schazer may be at fault.

But it should be noted that this isn't any normal court. This is Hades court, and in Hades court the final decision is made [dramatic pause] in the Tiger Pit. Both Sera and Schazer are dropped into the pit and select their weapons. Sera decides to select the Tooth Orb, a Moist Talkers relic. It’s a brown ceramic orb with a plug on one side filled with teeth, both human and animal. Schazer decides to turn their entire body mass into birds, the type of bird changing throughout the fight. During the fight, multiple representatives of other teams managed to fall into the pit by accident, and Thursday of the Firefighters was eaten as well. In a last-ditch effort to honor Kiki Familia, Sera asks if the Tigers will unionize. They do. Sera is devoured. Schazer attempts to turn the Tigers against each other but is unsuccessful and is devoured as well. Both parties in the end are found guilty. Their punishment? Death by tiger. The word [high-pitched beep] is banned from the official Discord.

Now, after this I did a little bit of additional investigation. I reached out to Garf, who, while understanding Schazer’s guilt, was unsettled by the judgment, saying that Schazer was a member of Hellmouth Community College, and that perhaps they could have led a class on Onceler capture and containment to protect from further Onceler outbreaks. When speaking with Pigeon, Pigeon claimed that the Tiger Pit was not even announced until court was in mid-swing and that, quote, “Perhaps with more time to prepare, my client might have thought of a weapon that did something more effective than scattering teeth on the ground when broken.” Pigeon also claimed that, quote, “Considering she would have had Para as legal counsel, I think I did a really good job since she wasn't executed immediately.” Was this a fair judgment? Who's to say, really? What I do know for sure is that some Tigers got a pretty good meal that day. Back to you, Kimberly.

K: Thank you so much, Fitz! Listeners, we are back. You're listening to Take Me Out To The Blall Game. I am your host, Kimberly Dauber. I am here with two legal people [laughter] who are here to help us all get oriented for the upcoming court case of New York Millennials v. Parker and the Coin a.k.a. the Boss. I'm here with Blase Attorney of the Chicago firefighters a.k.a. Matthew, and I am also here with Brief Games, a paralegal for Case Splorts of the Mexico City Wild Wings. We've been talking about what is going on in this case and what's going on in Sunbeams court. Now we're gonna talk about what this case means for blaseball as a whole. So, let's just dig into it! What are the implications of this for blaseball moving forward, potentially?

B: I'm really excited because the first time that we brought suit was actually against the blaseball gods, but the Commissioner got very defensive about it and seemed to indicate that they could not be brought to trial or that they were above justice, and, even though this is Sunbeams court, the idea that the Commissioner could be brought to justice or could be held accountable for some of their actions would certainly be an interesting precedent to set for blaseball moving forward. I'm worried about what being held accountable means, as this is Sunbeams court and there's only been one verdict and everyone died, so I'm a little nervous about that, but, like, the idea that the Commissioner could be brought to justice, or that anyone could be brought to justice in blaseball, is very interesting, I think.

K: Yeah, yeah. That is interesting. What do you think, Matthew?

M: Well, I think that that what you said was really on point for one of the reasons that I got involved was because, here in the Material Plane, there are actually a couple of cases saying you pretty much can't sue gods because it's hard to serve gods with the necessary papers. The two suits involved are United States ex rel. Mayo v. Satan and His Minions and State Senator Ernie Chambers v. God, both of which were dismissed primarily on procedural grounds. So, here, in the Immaterial Plane, we have an opportunity to make some really interesting precedent because the Coin appointed Parker MacMillan to be CEO Commissioner and Prime Minister. The Coin has made him an officer of their corporation that can be served on their behalf, and so the court can set a really interesting precedent about bringing all sorts of supernatural entities to court if it allows this to go through. And I also think it's really important because, like the Mills brought up, this is about whether or not blaseball is fundamentally fair, even if the rules are stacked, if those rules will be enforced according to the rules, whether the rules as written are an enforceable agreement between the league, the players, and the fans, or that they're not, and that they can be limited or changed under the discretion of the Commissioner, great job or not, or whatever deities are currently running the game. And especially with the arrival of the Fair Play era, that's a really important thing to decide here at the beginning of this new day.

K: I don't know what's going to happen with that.

B: None of us do.

K: [Echoing] None of us do. Chew on that, listeners. Tell us what you think on Twitter. [All laugh, perhaps nervously.] I, for one, am extremely interested. There's a couple of different concrete outcomes that could happen with this case as well, though, right? I mean, for one thing, it seems like the only precedent for the previous case tried in Sunbeams court is everyone was incinerated. Could the Commissioner get incinerated? Is that even possible? Are they incinerable?

B: We'll find out, I guess. I wish no ill will towards towards the Commissioner—

K: Yeah.

B: —and I hope that we all make it out of here with justice being served in moderation and not to such extremes, but we'll see. We'll see what happens.

M: If nothing else, we will be in the the legal history books as the only civil case that ended in execution.

B: Right.

K: Okay. All right, so when I go to watch this—I got a new question for you two—when I go to watch this, what can I expect to see? Can you help me feel a little bit oriented, maybe? I know it's going to be complete and utter chaos, no doubt, but maybe what are some things that I can hold on to in order to try to follow what's going on here?

B: Here's my best guess: so Sins, who will once again be the judge, jury, and also a witness in the trial, it will be once again presiding over this case. It's going to happen in Discord, so we know that. It's going to happen in some dedicated channels. There's going to be an observer channel and I think a court channel, and then we've collected over sixty pieces of evidence that have been submitted at parkerclassaction.com, and we're hoping that some of our best witnesses will be made available for cross-examination. Sins suggested that there would be maybe five or six possibilities for witnesses from our end, so that's something that we are trying to figure out. We don't know the date. We don't know the time. [Kimberly laughs.] It's going to be during the siesta, which is are going to be at least a month, so sometime in the next month, maybe? Could be later than that, but I don't know. We don't have a time yet as far, as I know. So, that's kind of the nuts and bolts of, like, how you can be a part of it is: you need to be on the blaseball Discord, and hopefully someone will direct you to where you need to go, but, beyond that, we just don't know a lot.

K: Yeah, yeah. Usually stuff like this is announced in the announcements channel, I believe, right?

B: Yeah.

K: So the keepers will almost certainly put information about where and when to go see this trial in the announcements channel on the Discord, and I believe the Wild Wings Legal team is running parkerclassaction.com—

B: That’s correct.

K: —and would that information probably be there as well, once it comes out?

B: Probably.

K: Okay, okay. Matthew, is there anything else that you can tell us to help us hang on to our pants in this game of legal Calvinball?

M: Most likely, what we're gonna see is a loose interpretation of a trial, with an emphasis on “loose,” but if you've ever seen episodes of popular TV court shows, you'll probably have a general idea what's going on. I expect that the Mills will probably emphasize arguments around the unfairness of not distributing the proceeds of Eat the Rich because we've seen that in the evidence: things like starving players, spicy milk left unconsumed. The League hasn't had to make any filings, which is a unique feature of Sunbeams court, so we don't know exactly what they'll be bringing to the table, but I think we probably have seen a preview of it in the amicus filings from Youni B. Jazzhand. I apologize to them if I mispronounce their name. But I also think we're gonna see some really great lawyering from the Wild Wings Legal Team, who have a great reputation at the bar and and are underestimated at the peril of the League.

K: Do we happen to know who's going to represent the Commissioner and the Boss?

M: From what I understand, it's widely believed that Crabs LLC will be representing the Commissioner and the Boss, and that is a completely unknown quantity because who knows exactly what their viewpoints or even skills in the courtroom are after they've ascended.

K: Okay, and this hasn't been explicitly confirmed, right, that Crabs LLC will represent the Commissioner and the Boss, but it seems pretty likely?

B: I don't think it's been confirmed, but it it seems likely, and I know that the Boss and the Commissioner do have representation. Keeper Sins has confirmed at least that much, that there is a slate of representatives who are ready for the suit on there.

M: The Crabs have been tweeting like they're doing the representing, but, again, there haven't been any filings, so we haven't had to see any signature lines.

K: I see, I see. There’s no official paperwork.

M: Right.

K: Okay, all right. All right, well, that is about all the time we've got to talk about this for today. Before we close out the show, I've got one more question for the both of you, and also thank you so much for coming on, once again. Last question is: as you know, we are all love blaseball, so can you tell me what are you love about blaseball? Maybe Matthew, go first this time.

M: Sure! What I are love about blaseball is the community. I’ve only recently learned that I'm from Chicago, having foolishly labored under the delusion I was from somewhere else and having realized that, about late Season 8, I found an incredible community in the Chicago Firefighters community and in the greater blaseball community as a whole. No matter what's happened, no matter who's been shelled or what, you know, ancient deities have come down to rain peanuts upon us, the blaseball community has stood side by side and faced it all, and it's been a really amazing journey to find myself in Chicago, as we are all from.

K: Thank you, thank you very much. What about you, Brief?

B: I are love the passion for justice that's embraced by the whole community. I have enjoyed being a part of this justice, and I'm excited to see what the future holds for for blaseball.

K: All right, thank you both so much. Listeners, that is all we've got for you today. Don't forget to go to parkerclassaction.com to get the latest news on what's going on with this trial and keep checking the Discord, especially the announcements channel, to see what's going on with that. Matthew, where can our listeners find you?

M: You can find me @mpark6288 on either Twitter or the Discord.

K: All right, thank you, and Brief, what about you and the rest of the Wild Wings Legal Team?

B: The Mexico City Wild Wings Legal Team is on Twitter @CDMXWWLegal.

K: All right. Thank you so much for coming on the show! Listeners, do not forget to subscribe to Take Me Out To The Blall Game wherever podcasts are found, follow us on Twitter @blaseball_pod, check out our website at www.blaseballpodcast.com, and email us at blaseballpodcast@gmail.com. That's how Matthew ended up on the show. [Matthew chuckles.] You can send in a question, dedicate a soulscream, or suggest something that we should interview you about. And finally, if you know somebody who would like this podcast, do them a big favor and tell them that it exists. I bet that they're going to be glad that you did. I am Kimberly Dauber, you've been listening to Take Me Out To The Blall Game, and thank you for participating in the cultural event of blaseball.

powered by

Transcribed by Nat.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *