The Blaseball Coin

(Intro Music)

Kimberly: Hello blaseball fans, you are listening to Take Me Out to the Blall Game, the world's most collectible blaseball podcast. I am your host Kimberly Dauber and I use she/her pronouns. Today we are going to talk about the one, the only, blaseball coin with Joey T. Badger of the Splorts Hub, but first, a word from our splonsors:

Take me out to the blallgame is a proud member of the blaseball ball union.
Hi there blaseballs and blaseballers, I am the blaseball ball union representative, and definitely not a massive blaseballs in a trench coat. The union, is a union of for, by, and made up of Blaseballs. If you think you might be a blaseball or simply support blaseballs in their goal of just really getting knocked out of the park, you can find and assimilate…I mean, follow us on Twitter @blall_union. That's B-L-A-L-L underscore union. Even blaseballs are all love blaseball.

Kimberly: Hello listeners, welcome back to Take Me Out to the Blall Game, I am your host Kimberly Dauber. Today I am here in the studio with Joey T. Badger, the voice of the Boston Flowers and the current holder of the one and only Blaseball coin. Yes, that coin. We’ll tell you the story just a minute but first, Joey thanks for coming on the show. Can you tell us, what we should call you? What are your pronouns? And is the commissioner doing a great job?

Joey: Three great questions Kimberly, thank you so much for having me. My name is Joey T. Badger from the Splorts Hub. He series for my pronouns, and the commissioners doing a great job.

Kimberly: Thanks, so much Joey. So, first of all this is the one and only blaseball coin correct?

Joey: Right you are, Kimberly. This is the coin you see on every time the new boss coin mom thing appears on the screen. We have the coin. We bought the coin and seeing it last night after the coin came in, it was amazing. tIt was like oh wow it's there it’s that coin.

Kimberly: Can you tell us the story of how you managed to acquire this priceless item?

Joey: Oh boy can I. We did a live broadcast last Sunday for the election for season number ten. So that Sunday after season ten was ending, we did a live broadcast a covering the election results and also what kind of shenanigans and gods that may pop up on the blaseball.com. And then suddenly this old Roman coin that's kinda squished and burnt appeared on the screen and we are reacting to this and live and we have folks in the chat. And someone was genius enough and ambitious enough to search for this image and found the eBay link for where they pulled that image from. And my only reaction there, was like, I gotta buy that. So, I bought it immediately because I know if someone found it, and someone in blaseball would buy this coin, because baseball is full of very passionate people, so I was quick on the trigger. And boy do I now have a silver Roman coin from like 222 A.D.

Kimberly: I can't believe it was on eBay you know; it could have been from a Wikipedia page or from some museum collection but no. It was on eBay. (Laughter) So, you managed to get this coin, thanks to some intrepid fan who managed to track down the image, can you describe what the coin is actually like for our listeners?

Joey: Oh absolutely! It's actually pretty small, it's under an inch in diameter, it’s kind ovular. About twenty-two millimeters says the certificate of authenticity that I have in my hands right now. It's kind of burnt on one side on the top side and it makes it even look like more cursed. There is on one side, on the boring side, is the is the profile of Severus Alexander a Roman Emperor from 222 to 235 A. D. That was their reign. And on the reverse side, which is actually the side of the of the coin mom that they use of the website, it’s someone named Equitus. Equitus is an abstract god of the equality and the Latin concept of justice. Which is actually where the English word equity comes from. And it's them in a robe holding a set of scales with Equitus on Latin around the outside. It's very spooky, and definitely cursed.

Kimberly: Wow! You got a lot of information about this coin are you just an expert on ancient Roman coins, or do you have some sort of source for this information?

Joey: I am not an expert by any means on this, or many other things. But included with the with the coin was a lot of literature. The dealer, who I didn't even look at, while I'm happy we have, this is from trusted coins.com so you’ve got to trust them. And then the person who owns it and who gave me their card; Mr. Ilyas Zlobin in which is perfectly blaseball-ian; Z. L. O. B. I. N.

Kimberly: Oh my gosh someone submit that to the someone submit that as an egg name please Ilyas lobby a

Joey: Oh yes, I gotta do that. I’m also a patreon, so that’d be perfect.

Kimberly: Oh yes! Do it ,do it.

Joey So anyways, Trustedcoins.com, this guy is a world-renowned expert numismatist, coin dude, authentic dealer of degree ancient Greek, ancient Roman, ancient Byzantium, and world coins, and more. So that this guy is legit or at least seems that way. And their main objective is to be a paragon of excellence, integrity, honesty, value and you know Kimberly?

Kimberly: What?

Joey: I got a good dealer.

Kimberly I would I would venture to guess that Mr. Ilyas Zlobin and never expected that a coin in his collection, that he could sell to someone, would be the one and only blaseball coin. I mean can you just imagine having an item of such power, and just being completely unaware of it?

Joey: Well it's just you know I think throughout history, I think about how many cursed items are out are out there, about trapped duties, and powerful spirits that people may own. You know you might look at your lamp in the living room and a different way, because there might be a god trapped in there you never know.

Kimberly: Wait, wait, wait, are you saying this coin might be cursed?

Joey: Oh, this coin’s definitely cursed. Kimberly, this coin is one hundred percent cursed. How could it not be? I've definitely felt minor effects from this coin. Nothing too major, sometimes it makes my auto focus not work well, sometimes I do have the taste of blueberries in my mouth when I'm not eating blueberries. I feel like my toenails and growing faster, but at different rates for each toe. It's a very minor things, but definitely cursed.

Kimberly: All right. Well listeners, thanks for listening to me and Joey talk about the coin. We’ll be right back with more blaseball coin updates I guess, right after this short break don't go away.

Today's episode of Take Me out to the Blall Game was splonsored by the Splorts Hub.

Joey: Happy time zone splorts fans. This is Joey T. Badger, voice of the Boston Flowers here on the Splorts Hub. We live-call blaseball games and cast the other blaseball related content. Tune in to 90-infiniy-5, to listen in. For your convenience this is the frequency that is picked up by your fillings. You can also follow us on Twitch at Twitter @thesplortshub. We hope to see you there!

Kimberly : Hello there blaseball fans welcome back you're listening to take me out to the blall game I'm your host Kimberly Dauber, and I'm here today with Joey T. Badger, who managed to buy it the one and only blaseball coin, that's right. The coin that is our god of peace and prosperity and…fair play ?

Joey: Fairness? Yeah justice?

Kimberly: Equity?

Joey: It’s still an unfolding journey that I am both excited about it very, very nervous about.

Kimberly: Still unfolding one way or another, Joey has the coin.

Joey: We have the coin.

Kimberly: That’s for sure. We've been talking about that in the first half, and now we’re just gonna talk about it some more. So Joey, question for you, what does this coin mean to blaseball ? What is its significance to us?

Joey: The significance... I imagine that there's two parts of that question, one; there is the god, the boss the one who appears to us and talks to us; and then this mortal vessel that I somehow purchased off of online auction site. Are they connected? I hope so. Blaseball devs please reach out to me. I am more than willing to collab. But this coin means allegedly a new prosperous, and equal and fair blaseball community and era. But boy, that's probably going to be bastardized and warped.

Kimberly: Knowing us, I'm surprised it has lasted as long as it has.

Joey: Oh, I'm so excited, in only a few hours, we will be watching the elections, streaming the elections. So, this podcast will come out after this, but we'll see… because we're going into a grand siesta. They’re going to drop something is going to be awful and amazing.

Kimberly: It’s going to be beautiful

Joey: So, this is coin's a little a representation of that. I think the next number of seasons of how blaseball will twist, and warp equity and justice; hopefully how we can rise as a community against that.

Kimberly: Hopefully. What about the actual images on the coin, and where it came from? Do you think there was a reason that this particular coin was the one and that is our god, the boss ?

Joey: I think so, and thanks again to Mr. Ilyas Zlobin for just providing so much information when buying this coin.

Kimberly: It’s actually so cool

Joey: It's so cool. (Shakes paper) This is a certificate of authenticity and just like a story of the guy on the coin and more material. So, on one side is the is the kind of abstract god of justice holding scales; Equitus, that's the image of the God coin. On the other side is the emperor of Rome who is serving during the time when this was coins minted, Severus Alexander who reigned from 222 to 234 A.D and this this coin was minted earlier in their reign. They took over as Roman Emperor when they were fourteen after their cousin was assassinated. What's really cool and kind of makes sense in the story here, is that that separates the Severus Alexander's mother, Julia Avita Mamaea was basically like, the real person charge. The real person behind the emperor, because the...

Kimberly: What!?

Joey: Yeah, no kidding! So, Alexander took over when he was fourteen, so he was kinda young, so his mother was like I’ll just run things. And she did a pretty good job of getting a bunch of visors, fixing a lot of issues from previous reigns, and he never really escaped the thumb of her influence. Which is so... which is so juicy. It’s so juicy Kimberly.

Kimberly : It’s so good

Joey: Canonically, the coin god mom, is the mom of the acting CEO, commissioner, who's doing a great job.

Kimberly: Commissioner’s doing a great job.

Joey: It’s so poetic and juicy and I love it. And it's just, what a great image. What great depths there, and allegory and whatnot and I’m really excited to see what happens.

Kimberly: The emperor on the coin, the emperor’s mother was the one in charge of the empire while the emperor was emperor. And you said like you did you say to 222 to 235, that's like what? 13 years.

Joey: 13 years.

Kimberly: That's a not very long for a neighbor who's supposed to be an emperor for life .

Joey: We’ll right you are, and maybe this also might play into the story, because technically they were leaders for life, but they were hecka assassinated by the praetorians even though they were…

Kimberly: The praetorians?

Joey: I'm not sure who they are I'm not really

Kimberly: Oh! They're the guard! I think they're the emperor’s like personal guard.

Joey: Well what they didn't do their job against themselves. Oops!

Kimberly: Whoops.

Joey: Our one thing: Keep the emperor safe. Oop. we killed them. Whoopsies.

Kimberly: Wait so Severus Alexander was then assassinated?

Joey: And his mom. Both were assassinated, which is hopefully not dark foreshadowing because we love our commissioner.

Kimberly: We love our commissioner. Our commissioner is doing a great job. Okay, well I guess we'll see what's gonna happen.

Joey: Yeah.

Kimberly: I wonder where this could go with the upcoming trials and stuff too, cause Parker and the boss are both getting sued.

Joey: Which is amazing, which makes sense because you know, this is kind of like a justice a theme here and it’s also is a justice coin. Maybe they're really playing into that. They know what they're doing this. This is great. This is great, great stuff, and I'm so excited to be swept up in it.

Kimberly: This is so narratively satisfying. I adore it. Oh my gosh. All right, well we're almost out of time. Joey, what are you gonna do with the coin ?

Joey: That's a great question. My honest answer, Kimberly; I have no freaking idea. This thing is cursed. People keep saying on the stream, eat it. I'm not gonna eat coin I bought off of eBay. I don’t know where that’s been.
(Laughter)

Kimberly: You can eat the book, no eating coins.

Joey: I trust Mr. Ilyas Zlobin and his hot takes and knowledge on ancient European coins, but I'm not sure what happened here. It looks burnt. It is definitely cursed. I’m already minorly cursed. My skin has different texture now. It looks like orange peels in some spots, you know, it also tastes like orange peels in some spots. Yeah, it's kind of gross so...

Kimberly: That’s an odd thing for you to know.

Joey: Well I had to experience it because this coin has slightly cursed me. So, if you have any suggestions, you know, tweet at me @thesplortshub that's @thesportshub. I have a splorts.

Kimberly: Okay well, I hope you feel I'm sure you'll come up with something. There seems to be no shortage of ideas over the splorts hub. All right, well, before we go this is about the end of our show. But as is traditional, I gotta ask you one final question. As you know we are all love blaseball, so Joey, what are you love about blaseball?

Joey: Great question Kimberly. What I love about blaseball, is the community. Experiencing such just amazing, heartwarming, welcoming… Like this is the first time, me doing splortscasting and just the fervor there are in the fans, it's just so amazing. It's so much overwhelmingly positive. Especially during these awful times, it's a sense of community that I haven't felt like I've experienced in so long. So just having that, having really good fans who are ready willing to play along, willing to contribute, it's just.. it's amazing. It’s what makes blaseball just so special. So, thank you to the fans, and thank you for the people who participate , and that's what I love about blaseball.

Kimberly: MMMhmmhmm. Snaps . I would snap but I don’t have hands because I’m a blaseball.

Joey: Well, you can fly so that’s a great trade off.

Kimberly: That’s true. That kind of makes up for a little bit. All right, listeners that is our show for today. Joey, if our listeners think you're super cool and they wanna hang out with you some more, where can you be found?

Joey: We broadcast weekdays at 6:00 PM eastern standard time during the regular season @thesportshub that's twitch.TV/thesportshub. Follow us so you can just get notified. You don't have to figure out the schedule. We also broadcast live games for the playoffs and check us out there we have a YouTube at splortshub as well. We have a twitter @theslportshub. We've nailed our branding, so follow us on all thos things. Wspecially during this grand siesta. We’ll try to pump out some off-season content, so tune in!

Kimberly: All right ,and there's a chance that you might see me there, because I tend to hang out at the splorts hub too, and we have a great time.

Joey: So happy to have you there Kimberly. On Friday night, you were guest co-host there on our splortscast, and we experienced some outpouring of love from fans and it was amazing.

Kimberly: Awe! It was so much fun. All right, listeners remember to subscribe to this podcast: Take Me Out to the Blall Game wherever podcasts are found. Follow us on Twitter @Blaseballpod, check out our website at baseballpodcast.com, and email us at blaseballpodcast@gmail.com, where you can send us in a question about blaseball or dedicate a soul scream, or suggest something that we should interview you about. Maybe you have a cursed blaseball coin that we should know about, or something like that. And, if you know someone else who would enjoy this podcast, do them a big favor and tell them about it. I bet they will be glad you did. Joey, thanks for being here. Listeners, thanks for listening. I am Kimberly Daubert this has been Take Me Out to the Blall Game and thank you for participating in the cultural event of blaseball.

( Outro Music fades out)
Joey: And We'll see you next time.

Kimberly: And that is the stinger that we’ll have in after the music cuts out.

(Laughter)