Verified Peanut Facts

Kimberly: Hey there, listeners this is Kimberly. You're listening to a Take Me Out To The Blall Game minisode.

Okay, so you probably remember the peanut episode which had a whole bunch of verified peanut facts. So you got a bunch of peanut facts in the actual episode, but there were also a lot that were submitted that didn't make the cut, and I wanted to throw those out into the world as well. So here's what's about to happen: I am going to start reading peanut facts, and I'm going to stop when I get to the end of them. So buckle up, because here we go.

Peanuts are illegal in all fifty of the cities in the United Stlates.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches don't collect as many germs as some other kinds of sandwiches because the dry peanut butter is a suboptimal environment for moisture-loving bacteria.

The Shelled One's legal name is The Legumed One.

Peanuts were the natural predator of many species but ended up hunting them to extinction and evolving to a more subdued lifestyle underground.

You can't spell “nutrition” without “nut.”

Peanuts talk, but their voices are so high-pitched that nobody can hear them.

If you look at a peanut under a microscope, it doesn't have any cells.

Peanut shells are made of a special tasty alloy whose properties are currently unknown.

Peanuts are not nuts, nor are they legumes. They are, in fact, mollusks.

Every once in a while, if you crack open a peanut shell, a tinny little cheering noise will play, and there will be nothing but confetti inside. This is known as a prank.

Peanut, mint, and ranch is probably a good flavor combination.

Peanuts need to submit to a rigorous application process in order to be licensed to wield a sword. The wait time for applications is currently six months.

Peanuts have a propensity for arts and crafts.

My cat Xander only cares about peanut butter.

When peanuts were first discovered in Season -5, the idea of their existence was so ludicrous that we still don't fully know if they're real today.

Much like any fruit, peanuts can be juiced with any quality juicer to yield a sweet juice. This is true, no matter how old the peanuts are.

Roughly 0.6% of children in the USA are allergic to peanuts.

A peanut is, technically speaking, neither a pea nor a nut. It is, however, a berry.

Peanuts come in three flavors—electron, mu, and tau peanuts—and oscillate between the three as they hurtle through space.

The Australian great emu war began after an emu stole some peanuts from a street vendor. Emu soldiers used peanuts as a symbol of defiance.

Fact: peanuts are not actually nuts, but scientists are too embarrassed to admit they made a mistake.

Peanuts can be used in the place of wing nuts with no problems.

Cronch.

I was having a sleepover, and The Peanut made us all a fun pizza out of watermelon, but none of my friends liked it, so Dad ordered us a real pizza, and The Peanut had huge meltdown over it and gave all my friends a strike, and a neighbor was incinerated. Not sure if that last part was a coincidence, but anyway, it was really awkward.

Annihilating one peanut and one anti-peanut would produce energy roughly equal to an atomic bomb. P.S. this is actually true.

It is pronounced “leh-goo-mee.”

Warning: unverified peanut fact ahead! While many people believe that peanut butter is named because it has a buttery texture, the reverse is actually true. When butter was discovered, it was named after the then-popular peanut butter.

Mr. Peanut's full name is Bartholomew Richard Fitzgerald Smythe.

Peanuts can be used as cat litter.

[incomprehensible groaning] peanut.

Peanuts were invented in 1457 when medieval English lord Thomas Peanut the Fourth tried to eat nuts twice.

The peanut is a type of fractal.

Peanuts are art aficionados.

Mr. Peanut was the first president of the Nestle corporation.

Peanuts exist in the real world. Peanuts are not figments of your imagination.

Peanuts. Peanuts. Peanuts? Peanuts.

The peanut was named after the famous comic strip.

Interstellar hitchhikers regularly bring peanuts with them on journeys, as their high salt and protein content is invaluable in quickly replenishing energy levels after a trip through hyperspace.

Peanuts are actually closely related to roses.

All peanuts originate from the Big Peanuts, which arrived on earth sixty five million years ago and killed all the dinosaurs. Peanut allergies are left over from an important survival instinct, back when humans needed advance notice that the Big Peanut was approaching. Mankind finally defeated the Big Peanuts in 20,000 BCE, when the first blaseball blats were carved from mammoth bone and allowed humans to break through the shell.

If you eat one hundred million peanuts in your lifetime, something amazing will happen.

There is believed that the name peanut comes from “pea,” a plant that is a seed pod, and its relation to the nut family. This is not true. The “pea” is a reference to the pean, a variant of the word “paean” that means a song of joyful praise or exultation, and the word “nutraceutical,” meaning food that supposedly contains healing properties or other health benefits. And thus, every peanut we eat and share with the gods are in praise of them. Whether there are any actual benefit is unknown, as this is all rumors.

If every fan has 69,420 peanuts exactly at the same time, The Discipline Era will end and all incinerated players will be resurrected.

The peanuts have infiltrated all levels of government.

Peanuts are not nuts but are actually tiny eggs.

The little indents on peanuts are hand carved by little gnomes.

Peanut fact: peanut is not shaped like a friend.

The Shelled One shoved me into the interdimensional locker in grade -3.

Peanut fact: Peanut can say “wow” for five minutes in one breath.

Peanuts like little kisses. Only little ones.

Peanut (5th May 1818 - 14th March 1883) was a German philosopher, economist, historian, sociologist, political theorist, journalist, and socialist revolutionary. Born in Trier, Germany, Peanut studied law and philosophy at university. He married Jenny von Westphalen in 1843. Due to his political publications, Peanut became stateless and lived in exile with his wife and children in London for decades, where he continued to develop his thought in collaboration with German thinker Friedrich Engels and publish his writings, researching in the reading room of the British Museum. His best-known titles are the 1848 pamphlet The Communist Manifesto and the three-volume Das Kapital (1867-1883). Peanut's political and philosophical thought had enormous influence on subsequent intellectual, economic, and political history. His name has been used as an adjective, a noun, and a school of social theory.

Germany's currency before they adopted the euro was the peanut.

Peanuts grow underground like their close relatives, potatoes.

Little-known fact: peanuts are grown under water. They are cultivated on coral reefs.

Peanuts are genetically crafted in a laboratory.

Peanut fact: peanuts are food, not friends.

Peanuts are invisible.

For each peanut, there also exists a corresponding anti-legume called an anti-peanut, which also has spin of one half and no electric charge.

There are six flavors of peanuts: up, down, strange, charm, bottom, and top.

cyber.dev is not endorsed by peanuts.

The Peanut is actually three soybeans in a trench coat. I've seen it with my own eyes.

Spies [long bleep]. Whatever you do, do not bleed on the peanuts.

Peanuts were named after the cartoon, not the other way around.

President Obama had a crippling fear of peanuts.

Peanuts are high in potassium and vitamin C. That's what makes them so good at repelling vampires and also delicious.

Salt is harvested from the inside of peanut shells.

Being allergic to peanuts is actually normal. If you are able to digest peanuts, it is because your body is able to produce a special enzyme that is capable of breaking down peanut proteins.

Among Us and Fall Guys were inspired by the rainbow heirloom peanut, which happens to be the pod stage in the growth of the familiar rainbow heirloom corn.

Popcorn is actually a misnomer. The kernels are actually discarded peanuts.

Peanuts have eyes. Where? That's only for botanists and the peanuts to know. They want to see it. Eyes emoji.

Wyatt Quitter has argued that peanuts are tacos.

The Peanut has no power here.

A peanut is not a nut. It is a vegetable.

You can make peanut milk using peanuts and water.

Throwing peanuts at a wedding ensures a smooth marriage.

The easiest way to prepare a peanut is hard-boiled.

The blaseball in the air with the mic is doing a great job. Aw, nuts!

The word “peanut” actually comes from two slang phrases mashed up together. The first is “pea-lease don't hurt me,” and the second, “Oh, God, nut in the face!” In the 1800s, these phrases were said so frequently and rapidly that they were mushed up into a single word.

Peanuts are extremely poisonous to every mammal, and you should never eat them.

Squid is squid. They taste good. I once ate a peanut.

Peanut fact: we have eaten negative infinity collective peanuts.

Peanuts are delicious.

The peanut is a bitch. A big bitch. F the peanut.

Peanuts are very yummy.

A peanut ate my baybay (but say it in an Australian accent).

Honey roast, salted, plain, all-caps, shouting, spinning.

Peanut butter was sent by God to punish us for our sins.

Peanut has become Catholic. Amen.

Jonathan Frakes is made entirely of peanuts.

Jessica Telephone once had to go to the emergency room after she went unconscious while playing Chubby Bunny with Alexandria Rosales. She says she needed 69 stitches.

Goku doesn't know how to drive.

The Peanut got its name because nuts are where the pee is stored.

Spies win.

Peanuts sacrificed to the hall enter the shadows and become pea-nots.

Being a void child, NaN has trouble avoiding stray peanuts.

Peanuts aren't real.

The wretched nut deserves to be eaten.

I'm allergic to peanuts.

The Shelled One must be found and destroyed.

The Peanut is older than baseball itself.

Raw peanut flavor is similar to raw black-eyed peas flavor.

Whew! All right. Those were all of the verified peanut facts. Look what you've done. I hope you're happy. Thank you, everyone on the internet who provided them to me. I really liked reading them. It was great. And thank you so much for participating in the cultural event of blaseball.